Dumb IKEA customer of the day
So I work at IKEA, the epi-centre of mass consumerism and capitalism, and we get a ridiculous amount of dumb customers. Every. Single. Day.
In fact, I have to deal with so many people who are seemingly thick in the head, it is one of the main reasons why I loved the idea of a blog for complaining about everything in the first place. :)
If you know me in person, you’ll probably know I encounter strange customers at IKEA all the time. More often than not its just the cheap bastards who want to feed a family for ten dollars (“I’ll have one plate of meatballs and ten extra plates please! ^_^”) or the people who can’t read signage properly and wonder where the couches are located.
When it’s food related though, people can get extremely cheap, and extremely desperate, especially when it comes to meatballs. Forget about the extra gravy you can ask for if you like your plate drowned in gravy, if they can get a bread roll costing 60 cents for FREE then they will take what they can get. It’s like fighting life and death for meatballs at the IKEA restaurant, and it can get UGLY. A customer that comes to mind is an old Italian man who pretended he couldn’t read English….then threw a huge tantrum because he found out he had to pay 60 cents for his bread roll. What does he do?! HE RIPS THE ROLL IN HALF, THROWS IT ON THE TABLE AND STORMS OFF ANGRILY INTO THE DISTANCE. It was pretty hilarious.
Actually, that kind of reminds me, I was once asked if we did Happy Meals with free toys……BIIIIIIIIIGGGG SIGH. Yeah I won’t even go into that hey.
But anyway, back to my dumb IKEA customer of the day moment.
It’s a Saturday, so its really busy…and that means an influx of dumb customers who think they can buy everything in the store with their ten dollar note. A middle aged, fairly large lady comes up to my co worker, Sue, and demands a refund on her blueberry muffin. Why, you ask? She ‘cracked her tooth’ on a large blueberry that was inside her muffin.
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^ That was me, standing there in shock and utter amazement, that someone could crack a tooth on a blueberry muffin, and actually BOTHER to attempt to get a refund. I mean honestly. I….I just….I just don’t know where to start with this one.
Firstly, if you’ve ever had blueberries before, you’d probably know they are smallish pea sized of a blueish/purplish colour and that THEY HAVE TINY SEEDS. Secondly, blueberry muffins contain blueberries. YEAH bet you didn’t know that one! Thirdly, muffins are BAKED, meaning blueberries go really soft. Fourthly, I have actually eaten many blueberry muffins from IKEA (yeah, I know), and you’re pretty lucky if you get two blueberries in your muffin. Three, max. Fifthly, I have never in my life heard of someone cracking their tooth on a blueberry. God knows she might need a root canal after that experience today.Unless the lady had dentures or something, I really don’t understand HOW ANYONE can crack their tooth on a blueberry. I am seriously cracking up right now just re-imagining this scene, because the serious look on the lady’s face was…priceless. It was incredibly hard keeping a straight face myself!
And so, after the lady stated her complaint, Sue replied “Well I can exchange it for you if you want…” o_O
“Oh..right..ok…well can I get like, get a plate of meatballs instead then?”
…..
….SERIOUSLY. WHAT THE FUCK WOMAN.
Not only is the price difference to the ratio of about 3, it seems free meatballs will now fix EVERYTHING!
I mean, blueberries in blueberry muffins can be extremely hazardous to your teeth, but OH! It’s completely fine to eat an entire plate of meatballs which not only consists of more chewing and relatively crispy, deep fried chips…you also get an extra serve of gristle and mashed up cartilage with your meatballs which surely adds to the chewing magnitude of the dish.
Right now, my brain is just clusterfucked with confusion over this matter. Maybe I should suggest to IKEA they put warning labels on the muffins next time, to warn people of the dangers of eating blueberry muffins with your teeth. Maybe IKEA need to print instruction manuals on just how to go about eating a blueberry muffin, seeing as people at IKEA seem to need to be told how to do e-very-thing.
I just don’t understand..why…in fact I am sitting here, still in my work uniform, wondering what was going through the woman’s head when she said ‘I cracked my tooth on the blueberry.” Needless to say, I ran off hysterically laughing afterwards, and am still cracking up now just thinking about it.
My faith in humanity has just been extinguished.
Jakki posted @ 6:07 pm
Shit?
So basically Jakki and I had this amazing idea for a site. We figured that since we complain about shit a lot, we should write about the shit we complain about on the Internet, because it would be hilarious.
I also chose the name shit because I used it twice in describing what this blog site thing is about. That’s a lot of times, it seemed fitting.
I can’t really be bothered writing about shit right now, but believe me I will, and I am sure Jakki will too.
We’re cool. Probably the coolest.