Even I’m sick of talking about this movie

I found out a few weeks ago Avatar is being rereleased into theatres any day now.

I jokingly said it was probably just so they could include the deleted sex scene. Well guess what?!?!?!

I WAS RIGHT.

I’m sure the 3 hour long movie will totally benefit from the re-release from the whole extra NINE MINUTES of footage. -_-

Seriously. Not only that, James Cameron bags out the Matrix in favour of his shiteous movie, saying:

“I’m mapping out the story line right now, so there’s a proper arc that plays out over two films, but (it) buttons nicely at the end of two, so you don’t get this horrible second-act Matrix feeling – you know: ‘I’ve just sat through a three-hour movie and f**k all happened at the end!’”

SERIOUSLY!?!??!? SERIOUSLY!?!??!?! S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y?!?!?!?!?

He really takes egotistical to the next level. Can someone just put him out of his misery and deflate his balloon already?

More annoying things :

• slow computers
• iMovie
• people who have no idea how long it takes to edit something
• cold weather
• job hunting
• dried porridge
• region locked dvds
• tax forms
• etc. etc. etc.

That has been a lot of what has been happening in my life at the moment. Dosn’t it sound thoroughly exciting?

Jakki posted @ 4:12 pm

Twilight

So I suppose it’s inevitable that a shitblog will eventually have some sort of post on Twilight.

If you haven’t heard of Twilight, youve probably been living under a rock the past few years.

I watched the 2 movies last night with my friends and I don’t know what we were thinking. We all hate it, but we thought it’d be funny to watch the two movies and laugh at how hilariously bad it is.

I’m actually cracking up right now because I can just remember Cam’s “hey, found a guy who’s wearing a shirt over there, let’s beat him up!” dub over Jacob’s shirtless wolfpack brother on the beach…ahhhh you had to be there.

But yeah. Watching the two movies really takes the life out of you. It is thoroughly exhausting dealing with all that teenage, vampire angst.

Seriously, how do people like this franchise? How did Stephanie Meyer get so popular from this series!?!?

I also found out yesterday that not only did Edward watch Bella sleep at night for months, he OILED THE HINGES ON HER WINDOW and SAT STARING AT HER IN THE CORNER IN A ROCKING CHAIR.

God Twilight is seriously fucked up.

Jakki posted @ 4:28 pm

What we need is a giant bath plug…

….to shut James Cameron’s mouth up once and for all.

So the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico has been in the news for a while now. The only reason I looked it up further today was because apparently Obama likened it to 9/11….ha de ha hah.

ANYWAY, it seems with any major world occurence these days, the scientists call in JAMES fucking CAMERON for his wise wisdom, because it seems BP/Halliburton/whoever the hell’s responsible seem to fail at finding a solution to stopping the flow of crude oil into the ocean.

I MEAN SERIOUSLY!??!?!??! :

Federal officials are hoping film director James Cameron can help them come up with ideas on how to stop the disastrous oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

…The Avatar and Titanic director was among a group of scientists and other experts who met on Tuesday with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency and other federal agencies for a brainstorming session on stopping the massive oil leak. [WTF!??!?!?!? W.T.F.!?!??!]

The Canadian-born Cameron is considered an expert on underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies. Avatar and Titanic are the two highest-grossing films of all time.

[Read More]

I just love how the article adds in the quote “Avatar and Titanic are the two highest-grossing films of all time.” right after “The Canadian-born Cameron is considered an expert on underwater filming and remote vehicle technologies.” like his movies JUSTIFY ANY REASON WHY he is invited to all these scientific conventions and meetings and whatnot IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Honest to god……….can you imagine how productive their meeting would have went?

Scientist: So…we have a serious problem on our hands. Oil is leaking out of the well at an alarming rate and if we don’t do something about it soon, the entire Gulf of Mexico will be a war zone!
Scientist 2: Well Obama compared it to 9/11 so it must be pretty bad! Whatever shall we do!??!
James Cameron: It’s ok guys, I have high tech 3D cameras I used in the production of Avatar; with my connections I’ll get a whole rig and set em up over here and film the work in progress in 3D. I’m sure we could all make a massive 3D movie out of it and it could even possibly recoup all of BP’s losses from this debacle because people are dumb and buy into all this shit!!!

Oh, and I shot Titanic in 1997 with my technological expertise, so…you know. I’m also a massive expert at shooting underwater, coz Titanic was just so revolutionary and ground breaking and all. Most people don’t know how to use camera angles when filming underwater but with my scientific background I can capture the black plumes of crude oil spilling out of the well in high definition 3D with the best possible composition and lighting for the extreme shock factor. The whole world will love us for it!

Scientists in unison: OH MAH GAWD JAMES CAMERON YOU’RE MY IDOL CAN YOU SIGN MY MICROSCOPE PLZ!?!!!1!?!1!!??!/!!!?/11111??

James Cameron: Now now children, I’ve already got my team underway into the project. Forget science, we need some marketing, some public relations, some production assistants and some caterers. The Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill: The Movie, coming to theaters in 2011!

ugh. If anything, the scientists probably don’t even know what to do anymore so they were all probably just like “fuck this, let’s just call in James Cameron and maybe we can find out secret deets about the upcoming Avatar sequel while pretending to figure out a solution to this mess. Sounds like FUN!!!”

Next thing you know, they’ll be bringing in the cast from the recently cancelled Law & Order to give their own insight into how the US should go about dealing with the legal implications too. Seeing as they’re all free and have nothing better to do, they were on a hit tv show – therefore are way more qualified than actual lawyers to give their opinion on the matter!!

I…really….don’t…understand…..why….or….how….

I mean first it was the Mars Rover…now its the Oil Spill!?!?! What a multitalented guy. Maybe he can find a solution to the war in Iraq while he’s at it. Oh and at the same time, he can also use his expert video technological experience and knowledge to seek and destroy Osama Bin Laden. Considering they both have a love for crappy movies I’m sure this will be an epic showdown.

Jakki posted @ 5:44 pm

Darth Vader…light sabers…Chewbacca…that’s all you need to know.

It has only been within the past week or so that my faith in Star Wars has diminished.

Way back before I rewatched these abominations, I remembered the Star Wars prequels to be full of awesome adventure and action and cool light sabers and amazing backdrops……man was I WRONG. I rewatched all 3 and I gotta say…what was I thinking??! Maybe it was because I was really young when I watched them, and they were incredibly hyped up when they were released, and I really liked Natalie Portman’s pretty outfits…but oh. my. god. What horrible films!!! They really don’t do the originals any justice at all!!

I can’t believe I actually sat through it all because the acting was TERRIBLE (who the hell actually bought Hayden Christensen’s turning to the dark side – honestly), the dialogue was atrocious and the plots…well…I don’t know if you could even call them plots. I mean, at least the originals had better flow and portrayal of a far reaching galaxy with likeable characters….it made it exciting and interesting and fun to watch. But the prequels just sucked the LIFE out of the whole star wars world. Even Yoda was way more bad ass and had way better dialogue in the originals than he did in the prequels!!!

I think the main reason why it sucked so much was because George Lucas spent all 3 films just overloading CGI and pointless scenes, and then everything about Darth Vader and his story with Padme is reduced to 5 minutes of explaining just why he wears his mask, how Padme dies and how Leia and Luke got separated.

It’s just….STUPID. I don’t even know where to start with how bad the prequels really are!!! I frankly can’t believe how I actually thought the prequels were watchable……………………..it’s just…unbelievable. I don’t think even words can describe just how bad it is. You have to see for yourself:

(fast forward to the 3:00 mark…or you can watch Hayden Christensen’s crappy acting in full while he makes a mockery of Darth Vader’s iconage)

And if you want to watch some more bad acting, here are my personal faves:

Obi Wan and Padme cry over the younglings

Padme and Annie’s unstable relationship

And if you really want to view more horrible Star Wars clips, click here.

I think the cheesy, badly acted romance just seals the fact that these prequels were useless garbage and are only enjoyable to the people under the age of 13.

What horrible, horrible films. Hard to believe these films managed to earn millions at the box office, smash ticket sales records AND made Hayden Christensen a z-grade star. Seriously.

Jakki posted @ 11:38 pm

Iron Man 2

So the other day Jakki and I saw Iron Man 2. This is basically how it went down:

Yeah…

The movie was so bad. I was expecting so much insane robot fighting action. It was more like 2 hours of NOT ROBOT ACTION. That’s the OPPOSITE of what I wanted.

And now I have to get back to doing UNI work. Ugh.

Life… hard… etc etc.

Cam posted @ 12:03 am